Ménage à
by Seamagik
Summary: Drabble, total Crack!Fic. Somebody requested I write a Biggs/Max fic, but you M/A shippers know how I am...


This is why people shouldn't request that I write other pairings. 'Cuz it'll all turn into M/A eventually, baby. (I'm sorry, hon, I tried! But this is all that my muse would give me! (grumbles)) Plus, I can't help that I'm a total frickin' weirdo! ... ... Oh, and sorry for the double alert to everyone who has me on author alert! Fanfiction . Net _hates_ me.

* * *

"Alec sure is in a good mood," Logan noted, watching the tall transgenic cross Command, whistling.

Max shrugged.

"Hey Biggs!" Alec waved to his friend, barely pausing on his way to the vending machine in the back. Biggs scowled, then glanced across Command and caught sight of Max. His expression became even more stony.

"What's wrong with Biggs?" CeCe asked, frowning, glancing at Max. Logan fell still, becoming uncomfortable, as he always did, when Max's new boyfriend was brought up.

Max shrugged again.

"Max, we need to talk."

Max flipped to the next map, not even looking up at Logan's dark haired replacement. "Can it wait, I kinda-"

"We need to talk about last night." Biggs said flatly. Max froze. Logan looked up questioningly.

Max turned on her heel and stomped her way to her office.

Biggs closed the door behind him, scowling.

"What?" She demanded. "Now what did I do wrong?"

"What do you think?!" He demanded.

"Hey, a threesome was your idea!"

An idea she'd almost killed him for when he'd first brought it up. An idea she had said no to multiple times over the few months they'd been dating since their impromptu hook-up during her Heat. An idea she'd finally caved to in curiosity. And had nearly died of mortification when she'd opened up the door and it had been Alec lounging in the hallway.

"What the?!" She'd demanded.

Alec's eyes had widened. "Her?! She's the hot piece of ass you were talking about?! I thought you meant you were cheating on her or something!"

Max scowled, turning red, her head whipping towards Biggs. And then back towards Alec, like she wasn't sure who to be more pissed off at.

Biggs had grinned. "Come on, guys, what's a little threesome between friends?"

They'd both turned to scowl at him, looked back again to glare at each other, and Biggs wondered if he'd made a big mistake. He'd thought their fighting hid some good ole' fashioned USTing. Maybe not. "Coffee?" He'd asked, instead.

Max was drawn back to reality by Biggs' annoyance. "Max, I don't know what your definition of a threesome is, but-"

"You're right," She interrupted.

Biggs deflated, confused. "I am?" He asked.

She nodded. Then pretended interest in her nails. "So maybe we should try again tonight."

Biggs glared at her in suspicion. Then relaxed, shrugging, when she wouldn't look at him. Eh, it was probably nothing. She was probably just embarrassed and-

"It's over," He said, flatly, the next morning.

Max's eyes widened. "Not here," She frowned, controlling her expression.

"I'll break up with you here or anywhere else I damn well please!" Biggs shouted. Command fell silent. Logan turned to watch the spectacle, unable to control the smile that spilled forth at Biggs' next words.

"You think I don't notice the way you look at him?" He demanded.

"Biggs," She started, reaching out towards him.

Alec paused in the doorway, frowning. Max couldn't help that her hand fell away before she'd even touched the shorter, dark-haired man. Biggs followed her gaze, and then laughed, angrily.

Alec crossed the distance quickly, doing his best to ignore all the eyes upon them. "Come on, man, don't be this way. It was your idea-"

"You fell asleep," Max jumped in. "We thought you were tired."

"I wasn't tired," Biggs shouted. "I was bored!"

Max blushed scarlet and Alec cleared his throat. Logan's smile started to die.

"I thought you knew the rules," Biggs scowled up at the taller man. "No touching of man parts in any way. And hogging the girl is strictly prohibited."

"But look how well that worked with Lola," Alec protested. "The poor girl could hardly walk for two days."

"Please," Biggs scoffed. "Don't act like you were tryin' to do Max a favor by kicking me out of bed."

Logan's smile was a broken, bloody mess upon the rocks of disenchantment.

Biggs turned on his heel, stomping out of Command. The room was still silent; you could clearly hear CeCe's breathless, "Wait!" as she raced out after him.

Alec and Max glanced at each other. Looked away. Realized everyone was still watching them.

"Get to work!" They shouted in unison.


End file.
